I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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