I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
