Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
