His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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