wat bout pragnant strippers??
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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