Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
