Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
