Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
