you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
