hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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