Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
