I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Randomize
