And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
