The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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