I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
