Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
