im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
