in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
