I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
