I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
