It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
