That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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