I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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