i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
