I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
