i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
