You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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