I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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