Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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