Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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