It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
