So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
