just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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