No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just gift wrapped bread.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
