But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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