He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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