I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
