i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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