She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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