So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
