im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
