then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
