How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
