My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
