I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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