VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
