Need sex. Gaining weight.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
