saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
