can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
