doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
