I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
