Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
