Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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