Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
