Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
