Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
